For over half a century I have had the privilege of working with thousands of individuals, institutions and communities. Although their requests for assistance were broad ranging and descriptive of their situation, one ultimate question was critical in every case - Why? In the diagnostic phase of understanding the client’s presenting problem questions center on gathering facts from records and information from interviews. Once all the data is obtained it is the consultant’s ability to ask deeper level questions, questions that solicit the root causes of the surface issues – questions of why? This skill produces a more comprehensive understanding of the problem and generates more options for solutions.
Questions posed, such as why is communication difficult; why do people feel stuck; why is their high anxiety; why are people in a state of chronic confusion; why is there conflict in relationships? are a few examples of how to elicit more information and a greater understanding of issues, whether they be individual, organizational, or a community.
The three-letter word why is an effective key to unlocking complex system dynamics. Asking the right question reveals a vocabulary of deeper meaning and the core values that influence individual and organizational behavior. From the persistent questioning of two to three-year-olds to the curious inquiries of mature adults, the human quest to understand beyond the obvious is universal. Whether an individual or an organization, the persistent search for meaning acknowledges the human need to understand why, and this curiosity opens the door to at a deeper, invisible, unconscious level of knowledge and wisdom. This level of exploration improves accuracy and provides an extensive grasp of issues and a tangle of problems. It gives insight and clarity and reveals the inviolate values and fundamental beliefs that shape the contours and content of individual and organizational character and functioning.
At the individual level this quest is the practice of inner work- the work of honest, open self -examination, self-reflection, self-development, and a commitment to continual psychological and emotional growth. It is the scaffolding for constructing an ethical and honorable life, the structure of authenticity and a reminder that you cannot lead others beyond where you have gone. This truth is powerfully affirmed in the writings and research of notable academics and practitioners such as William Bridges, Ronald Heifetz, Parker Palmer, and Edwin Friedman. Friedman’s book, A Failure of Nerve describes the integral connectivity between a system and the leader. It is the most graphic account of the need for leaders to remain consistent, clear and congruent in anxious systems – the state of self-differentiation. The ability to do this is a barometer of the psychological and emotional health of the leader, and a solid indicator of the potential of the organization’s capacity to exercise the adaptive leadership muscle. Self- differentiation is the essence of inner work. The leader’s commitment to asking why questions of themselves first and then of others is inner work.
Inner work poses and deep dives into the why questions - why you behave the way you do, why you exist/ for what purpose, why do individual values and actions matter, why are you drawn to address certain issues, etc. The answers to such why questions reveal content, character, integrity and trustworthiness of an individual. This is true of organizational and community systems as well. Leaders and followers who ascribe to the inner work practice of questioning are best equipped to help systems tackle the most challenging problems.
When we ask clients to research, record, and share their organization’s history the purpose extends far beyond the production of a picturesque timeline or the creation of a valuable artifact. It is an instrument for engaging in the real work of leadership – engaging in the inner work- the work of looking beneath facts and figures and eliciting the significance, impact, and meaning beneath the data. Probing and answering the why uncovers a system’s DNA- its origins, identity, founding values; developmental arc, patterns and trends, successes and failures, problem-solving ability, adaptive skills, etc. This deeper level of exploration is an ethical and adaptive practice of leadership - the excavation of what is not easily accessible yet is vitally important to know to keep individuals, organizations and communities on the path of continued learning and success.
We have learned how important inner work is in motivating people to embrace their strengths and weaknesses, let go of barriers to change, and accept the need to move into an uncertain time. This deeper work of leadership extracts what is important to hold onto now, what must be carried forward into the future, and clarifies what must be left to the past. We also know there is a strong cultural tendency to see only the tip of the iceberg of a problem; we warn change leaders against the “Titanic” perception of reality that leads to the possession of limited information and inevitable faulty decision making or disaster. Leaders of change are reminded of the necessity of going beyond the known into the unknown; and doing the deeper inner work that fuels their resolve and capacity to manage the inevitable times of resistance and barriers to change.
Those of us whose vocation is leadership and/or leadership development have a why that is important to acknowledge and articulate for ourselves and share with those with whom we work. I was the second of twins born to a mother who was an only child and a father who had only one other sibling. My narrative began with an awareness of being connected to a sister, Irma. I have always had an awareness of being separate while also being a “we.” I understood the concept of both/and early on. Being a twin prepared me for what is dual (sometimes expansive) consciousness – an ability to be self-aware while simultaneously being cognizant of the presence and importance of another individual. The addition of six more siblings expanded my awareness of system dynamics well before completion of graduate school and extensive work in clinical settings.
Decades of education and practice in organizational development, leadership education, and systems change have reinforced my early belief in the universal yearning we have to be all we are meant to be. I believe when we work together in ways that recognize and genuinely value the other, we cultivate higher functioning groups, create more humane and generative institutions, launch constructive change initiatives, and build a solid foundation from which we can all be courageously and fully ourselves.
My early history reflects a prescient awareness of the impact of holding the tension between opposites; of balancing independence and interdependence, connection and separation, engaging in inner work and outer work; developing technical and adaptive skills, and maintaining self-differentiation in a system in ways that contribute to the health of the larger system.
To paraphrase theologian, Frederich Buechner, calling is the place where the world’s deep need and our deep joy meet. It is like a mandorla in organizational life where individual purpose and organizational mission overlap creating the space where transformational change happens and where the struggle to live up to our highest ideals meets with success. It is within this space we are reminded of the powerful relationship between the outer and the inner work and technical and adaptive skills. The integrated work of leadership holds and transforms these tensions and becomes the pathway to transformational change. Otherwise, the outcome of our labors is cosmetic and quick- fixes - façades of progress.
Leaders are instruments of change; those entrusted with the current and future well- being of their communities. They are leaders who invest in the skills that enable them to hold their community in trust. The foundation for implementing this level of responsibility is the self-knowledge that is developed from questions that lead to a knowledge of why – why we care, why we are fearless, why we are unrelenting, why we are committed.
I am called to the integrated work of leadership because it engages leaders in discovering and identifying their individual and collective gifts that contribute to establishing ethical systems of constructive accomplishment. It cultivates a culture in which everyone feels they belong, are respected and valued; treated with dignity and respect.
Whether as a clinician, organizational consultant, or community volunteer/ leader I remain committed to enabling individuals, organizations, and communities to excavate and liberate these values, and to use their gifts to lead constructive change in their vision of the world.
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