Obtaining the level of commitment necessary to reach a desired goal entails managing an array of human emotions which can, collectively, heighten the confusion, anxiety, and ambivalence that come with change. A leader's capacity to manage conflicting states of human response equips individuals and groups with the confidence to tackle difficult issues and to deal constructively with change in the future.
Building the Foundation for Dialogue
What is dialogue? The word dialogue comes from the two Greek words: dia, meaning “through,” and logos, interpreted as “word or meaning.” To engage in dialogue is to engage in making meaning. In order for true, effective dialogue to occur, certain elements must be present:
Making sure the above elements are present is the first step to managing effective dialogue. The other crucial piece to successful dialogue is through using deep listening skills to ensure participants don't just hear one another's words – they listen deeply for understanding and make connections.
Using Deep Listening Skills
To truly listen means you attend to, follow, and reflect upon what is being said by others.
Deep listening increases individual and group capacity to be empathic toward others. It lessens defensiveness and paves the way to more freely exploring one's own and others' perceptions, assumptions, and opinions. At this point and this point only, is true learning possible. Not until participants are able to expose the underlying assumptions that construct their own views, are any changes of substance and sustainability possible.
Dialogue and Effective Change
When there is an opportunity to use all the deep listening skills and adhere to the established criteria for dialogue, a group will develop the trust and shared meaning necessary to engage in the adaptive work of change. Dialogue creates an environment and process for empathic examination; and in doing so, the choice to change remains within the control of the individual rather than in the leader or from the pressure of groupthink. Underlying assumptions which contribute to miscommunication and conflict will be brought out and the parameters of the issues being addressed will be clear.
Too often, the tendency in a group dealing with change is to minimize the anxiety and tension by rushing into problem-solving and decision-making. Inevitably, listening suffers. Engaging in dialogue helps a group get clear about the issues, thoroughly hear the multiple perspectives, and lays the foundation for establishing effective communication, a strong relationship, and long term trust. The sheer act of being listened to and understood without fear of retaliation, attack or judgment is healing in a group, especially one with a history of conflict or repression of differences. It takes leadership to use these skills and implement the ground rules and criteria for engaging in dialogue.
Summary
Dialogue is especially useful when there is a need to:
Dialogue is not a quick-fix approach; it is a process requiring thought, skill, and effort. It is not a panacea for all that ails the performance of groups and organizations; it provides a solid foundation for the development of sustainable change. The most important variable for the successful exercise of dialogue is an effective leader skilled in applying it to many situations.
Author: Katherine Tyler ScottFrom Leading Ideas, newsletter of Trustee Leadership Development (TLD). Used with permission of TLD.
Katherine Tyler Scott is a Co-Founder and Managing Partner of Ki ThoughtBridge and author of several publications on governance leadership.