As we celebrate the year and this special season for remembering, we are reminded of the wonderful opportunities Ki ThoughtBridge has had to work with outstanding individual leaders and a wide array of incredible organizations across the business, philanthropic, education, and community sectors. We've learned much from our clients. The following are some of the lessons we've learned this past year. In sharing these, we wish for you the gift of time to reflect on your leadership and the lessons you will take from 2009.
The lessons learned…
Everyone is a follower, but not everyone is a leader.The label “leader” is too important to give to everyone or anyone without considerable thought. Those who bear it have a special responsibility for getting significant work accomplished. Significant work involves the use of such adaptive skills as accurately reading reality, envisioning a preferred future, managing change, resolving conflict, and developing trust. It includes mobilizing the hearts and minds of others to work on achieving a common purpose. It is transformational not transactional.
Leaders value history.One of the first lessons Ebenezer Scrooge learns in the tale The Christmas Carol is the importance of understanding and respecting history. Honoring one's unique history offers the courage and strength often needed to move with confidence into an uncertain future. Claiming and celebrating corporate and community history also reminds leaders where they came from, how their collective story has unfolded and evolved over time, and helps leaders to mark and celebrate the successes achieved in the course of their journey. In understanding history, we come to recognize what is enduring and sacred as we envision the future. From our work with several statewide and regional leadership programs this past year, we have noted the importance and value of taking time to share the community history with leaders who are working collaboratively to discern and evoke a new future. Reviewing history helps leaders to claim their place in the fabric of their community and invites the future expression of individual gifts and contributions. In developing a shared understanding of history, leaders begin to comprehend the legacy which is theirs To Hold in Trust© long into the future.
Leaders, who deny the reality of the inner life, recreate repressed parts of themselves in the external environments in which they lead. Over and over we have witnessed examples of “fallen leaders” whose behavior has been a betrayal of trust, both personally and publicly. They have been accomplished and acclaimed, competent and charismatic, and in every instance their “fall” has been a shock to most. When examined more closely, we discover three things:
When these three exist, there is a falseness - a lack of authenticity - about the person. They come to believe they are their public personas, not their real selves. The inability to integrate all aspects of the self creates a shallowness and increases the tendency to see in others what cannot be claimed. When we think we are the sole authors of ourselves and our gifts, we become a “god” rather than the bearers of god-given gifts. The former leads to egomania; the latter leads to trusteeship.
Leadership requires putting the interests of others ahead of self-interest.Leaders who serve as trustholders for their followers understand the importance of self-sacrifice and they carry in their hearts a commitment to steward the well being of others. In the story "The Gift of the Magi" a husband and wife caught in difficult economic circumstances each sacrifice a precious personal possession in hopes of securing a gift worthy of their love. The husband sells his father's gold watch to purchase beautiful silver combs for his wife's hair. The wife sells her lovely hair to buy a platinum watch fob for her husband's precious heirloom. Acts of sacrifice and commitment are often required of leaders' intent on putting the greater good of their organization or community ahead of personal self-interests. In a year in which we've witnessed astounding acts of financial greed and selfish ego that contributed to the toppling of global financial markets and once sterling reputations, we have found solace and inspiration in witnessing countless acts of selfless leadership where individuals of modest means give daily their time, talent and treasure in support of the greater good.
There is frequently a hostile dependent relationship between a competent, highly revered leader and followers who lack a sense of self. Because the followers have little confidence in themselves they look to the leader for self-validation. They conspire in the deification (or the demonization) of the leader as long as they don't have to take responsibility for themselves or their actions. Along with this “hiding behind the leader” is a fragile sense of being able to survive that generates anger about their dependence on the leader for their self-worth. Followers who chronically complain about the leader and the leader's authority are examples of this. Their hostile, dependent relationship absolves them from being accountable.
The inner work of leadership is the most valuable work in which a leader can engage.It is the work that feels the most threatening to a highly defended person, but without it the leader is blind to the things that can interfere with their effectiveness. The skills needed to do inner work are courage, the ability to manage anxiety, introspection, patience, and the capacity to be self-critical as well as self-affirming without crossing the line into either martyrdom or ego inflation.
Leaders believe in the impossible.In responding to a child's ardent question, "Is There a Really a Santa Clause?" Francis P. Church notes, “Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.” This simple tale of hope offers us invaluable insight to the importance of abiding faith and the resolute belief that love, generosity and devotion do exist. In Yes, Virginia There is a Santa Clause, we are reminded that the intangible is often more important than that which we can measure, quantify and hold in our hands. Leadership requires acts of courage, faith and unshakeable vision in the face of skepticism and fear. A key lesson for leaders is that often the most real things in the world are those we cannot see with our eyes but must know to be true deep within our hearts.
Real transformation results from clarity of a desired outcome, a willingness to postpone immediate gratification, and a willingness to risk being vulnerable.In times of a chronic complex change, the effective leader recognizes the pressure to provide clear and final answers for those who cannot tolerate ambiguity. They do not succumb to this pressure and do not provide premature answers to problems that demand thoughtful inquiry and analysis. The adaptive leader resides in the gap - in that in between time of no longer and not yet.
Leaders know that they are not in a popularity contest. They prefer being respected if given a choice between respect and being liked.Those who must be liked cannot lead. Inevitably, there will need to be decisions made that won't be liked by everyone. The leader makes the decision that is best for the common good and for the long term good. They can withstand withering criticism and personal attack because they know themselves and are always discerning what is the best and most prudent decision.
Effective leaders are able to step back and see the big picture and recognize their place and role in it.Our work has put us in contact with wonderful people doing wonderful things. The difference between those who are leaders and those who are followers is perspective. Leaders can move in and out of the day-to-day tasks and see patterns and trends that those who are constantly immersed in daily tasks just cannot. Not only can they see a wider context, they have a sense of their place within it, and are conscious of how this influences their behavior. The ability to see the whole and to see beyond the current reality helps to give them the ability to persevere in the tumult of the gap.
Loving of what you do is “the magic” in a leader's life.There will always be more need than resources to address them and higher expectations than results, but knowing what you really must do with (and in) your life is what helps a leader endure and produce. There is a special joy to labor that originates from the heart. It is a joy that nurtures and buoys the leader. Long hours and stress do not create disillusionment when what drives everything is the match between what you find precious and what creates joy in the lives of others. Claiming your passion is empowering.
Leaders need silence and solitude to counter today's frenetic pace of change.In The Way of the Heart, Henri Nowen reminds us that the practice of silence and solitude helps leaders to guard the fire within such that they have the energy and inner resources needed to lead others. He notes that the practice of silence draws our attention inward and deepens our awareness of what we most value and treasure. From such awareness, leaders cultivate the capacity to speak with authenticity and authority. In this season where we are too often pulled by the external world into a hurried and stressful pace, we invite you to consider the power of silence and stillness. The well-known lyrics of the Christmas hymn, “Silent night, oh holy night, all is calm, all is bright” encourages us toward a deeper peace and connection to the source of everything through silence, stillness and solitude.
Wishing you, your family and friends love, peace and joy.
Katherine Joanna Irma